I have this serious envy towards big creators.

I felt this way because I think that they are so high and mighty that they could just ignore us all the time.

I immediately thought that I will never be as big as them. I sometimes tend to lose my motivation to do my art/animation projects because of this.

So I thought that the only way is to ignore these creators too and never expect them to talk to me. That way, I will forget that they're famous this whole time.

But I still can't forget this envy I'm feeling right now.

I know that they are human beings like us but if I ever saw one of them in person, I will do anything to avoid them because I believe that we have no time to talk to each other and talking to them might gets worse.

And also the thought that we are nothing but fans to them. There are a lot of people who wants to meet them in person so I don't want to waste my time just to meet them.

After meeting them, now what? We're friends already? I don't think so. They meet a lot of people and the probability that I'm friends with them is significantly low, unless I'm a big creator too or someone who works for them.

So there's no point in meeting them in person.

I know that I'm the bad person in this situation and I don't expect for you to understand me.

I'm just letting you know this envy I had right now and I'm trying my best to ignore this envy inside of me.

This serious envy towards big creators.

If there's something I didn't know or told you about, just let me know.